One day….that’s what I keep telling myself! In hopes that “one day” will become “today!”
You see….I go through these phases or seasons of life where I can really get down and beat myself up. Where I feel like no one else cares (which I know isn’t true). It’s just been one of those days where I so wish I could be home. Permanently.
On of my greatest desires is to be home and be a housewife and Momma. I so badly want this for myself, for my husband, for my babies. I want this so bad that it’s hard for me to get out of bed, it’s hard for me to find the positives in my job, so hard for me to say, “okay, God…I’ll do as You want me to do” without adding, “but can You please just change my situation to where I don’t have to get up and go!”
I look around me and I see all these family/friends that get to stay home. That wake up every morning with a smile on their face and a “to-do” list in hand and by the end of the day still smiling and a check mark over their list saying how much they have completed in their day. I sit here at my desk and I daydream and think about what I could really be doing. I could be doing laundry right now. I could be playing with Amelia and teaching her the things she needs to know. I could be planning menus for our meals at home. I could be grocery shopping and running errands. I could be just relaxing in my comfort clothes, sipping hot tea, rocking Amelia to sleep and listening to worship music as I pray. I could be doing this or doing that….and the list goes on and on. And all that brings me to is this….”why me? Why do I have to get up everyday and go to work in order to make ends meet? Why do I have to work outside of my home while everyone else gets to be home?”
Some days, I just want to start over. Some days, I just don’t want or feel the need to get out of bed. Some days, I want to just curl up and say, “nope. I don’t want to go and I don’t have to go.” Some days, I just don’t even know where to begin….and I guess that takes me to this….
Philippians 2:14-15 says, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.”
- Reminding me to be JOYFUL IN ALL THINGS!
- To walk CONFIDENTLY!
- To remember WHO I AM IN CHRIST!
- To know that “I am the LIGHT OF THE WORLD and the SALT OF THE EARTH….what good is it if salt has lost its taste?”
Philippians 4:8 says, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
- Reminding me to have GOD’S THOUGHTS!
- To TAKE EVERY THOUGHT INTO CAPTIVITY!
- To have God’s THOUGHTS BECOME MY THOUGHTS and His WAYS TO BECOME MY WAYS!
I just have to keep reminding myself that God has great things in store for me and for my family! That we will accomplish, conquer, and overcome any hurdle in our lives. That we are blessed no matter what! That as we continually seek God’s hand in our lives…that we will see His favor come to pass!
